(no subject)

[madame_demon]

 Oh my gosh..

 

We went to my husband friend’s house because he and his wife just bought a house in Tazewell and got settled. So we went to see it and play some card games for like a house warming party. Just us and them. They did invite our kid too. Thankfully, kiddo didn’t want to go because she had an art project to finish. So it was just me and hubby.

 

They live literally right behind the jail in Tazewell. Like lots of cops. 

 

I could smell the weed from their driveway! My husband knew they smoked but they haven’t said anything about smoking with us or any heads up about the house. Keep in mind they invited our 18 year old high school daughter to this.

We walked in and the house is just like really cloudy and smells of weed. 

Like what I imagine the basement on that 70s show to have been like.

 

They show us around and then in the middle of a normal little walkthrough tour his wife suddenly holds up to my FACE this BIG BLACK LIZARD that is their pet. It hisses as soon as it sees me. She says “oh he’s just loud. He won’t bite.” and tries to hand it to me. 

And I’m trying to say oh no thanks..or I really don’t know how to hold one of those…but she just PLOPS it on my arm. Didn’t ask. No further information. I try to stay cool and pet it and it keeps hissing. I try to give it to my husband just glaring at him like WTF. He won’t take it. So I just put hand it to his friend. Like cool….Thanks for that.

Not a lizard fan. Especially not knowing anything about it and it’s hissing at him. 

 

We sit down and they lay out like a weird gravity bong, a regular bong, a dab pen, a weed vape, some kind of gel stuff, gummies. Like what do you guys want. Help yourself. 

I tell them I’m fine. I have work tomorrow. My husband tries to take one hit out of the gravity bong to see how it worked. It mostly just sprays up in the air. 

 

Then all of sudden there’s a HUGE ASS RAT that crawls up on my husband’s shoulder. He freaks out. Yeah…the HUGE RAT is their other pet. 

The rat becomes my friend and spends most of the rest of the time we are there on my shoulder.
(I can be chill with rats but like warning that they have him and keep his cage open so he roams the house would’ve been great.)

 

We play Cards Against Humanity and the new Monopoly meanwhile his wife smokes like 4 bowls of weed. 

He takes some gummies. 

 

THEY say we should order pizza. So they ask if I could use my DoorDash account and they give us cash to cover their pizza. We pay for our own pizza. So fine whatever. 

But she handed my husband $15 after I had showed her their pizza they wanted was $30 something. 

My husband  waves it off and says happy house warming. 

 

I didn’t even touch any weed. I still got so high that I could barely focus to read the cards and play Monopoly.

 

Our clothes absolutely stink of weed. So we couldn’t go to the store after and get the things we needed to pick up without going home to change first.

And I discover that the rat’s toenails had scratched my shoulder. 

 

They asked what we are doing next weekend as we left and I was like “Maybe next time you guys can come over to our house. We have a grill and more board games there. You can meet our pets.”

 

Oof.

I’m all for eccentric and weird. But that was just the house warming party from Hell. 

I had to rant about it.